So, in the past when I started feeling down about things I could ask myself "What are you doing to better the situation?" and the answer was usually "going to school." Today I realized I officially have an associates degree in Medical Specialties. No fan fair please.
Things here still suck. No magical wand making things better, just an unemployed loaf, dreading the day when I check the mailbox and the student loans have come due.
Still have a stack of bills from here to there.
I really did not start this blog to bitch all the time! God knows, I hate whiners and am getting sick of listening to myself piss and moan all the time.
I do hope to have good news to report one day. Is it materialistic of me to want to have the stability that if I see a cute outfit for one of the kids, to be able to buy it without wondering if it would break the bank? Stability for us would be paying off the bills before new ones have come.
Is that really too much to ask? Apparently for the moment, it is.
All year we have been a paycheck away from disaster and we have pushed on to the next just fine and then to the next. Well... that paycheck or lack there of, has come.
I am used to being poor, been poor all of my life. Used to stretching a penny as far as that sucker will go. But just because I am used to it, doesn't mean I have to like it. It doesn't mean I can't hope to escape this hole that we have been digging ourselves into. Hope is a funny thing though, I have decided. While it is human nature to hope, that is all we have sometimes, but if hope fades then what do we have?
We have a problem.
I have been a self motivated person since I can remember. I have also had to work very hard for everything I have, nothing comes easy to me. I am untalented, ( no, really... its O.K! I know...) and that is alright with me. I just wish for once I could do SOMETHING to help bring our family out of this rut. I had hoped for a job at the clinic. Hell, the timing would have matched up perfectly, but alas another let down.
Things have got to get better.
Still learning all of lifes lessions, one day at a time.
1 comment:
I wish for once I could do ...something...
welll, you could go back in time and not work toward the degree and see where you are today. But honestly, I don't think you'd be better off. So you HAVE done something.
Yes, I know it's annoying to have someone say 'HANG IN THERE', but really, what's the alternative. You don't know that your kids aren't learning something about stick-to-it-ness by what's happening in your life.
So just stick to it, hang in there, and all that other crap.
Peace!!!
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