Copy of 'math journal' entry-- sure hope teach has a sense of humor...oh wait. I DON'T CARE....

I remember why I hate math.

I seem to be able to do the work fine on the "study" side of the hub but when I move over to the testing part I do poorly, whether this is a result of my crappy math skills or nerves ( or both) who knows. It is, however, very frustrating.


Mon-5 hrs 2 attempts at quiz plus tutoring

Tuesday -2 hrs. at hub - failed the quiz again, and then proceded to stare blankly at computer screen and contemplate throwing it out the window.

Wendsday- Sat on couch and did everything I was supposed to do, except math.

Thursday - decided math wasen't going to do itself, but that I was an idiot and coulden't do it either. Thought about changing major to something having nothing to do with math, then realized it wouldent help.

Friday - Realizing pouting wasen't helping grade. stumbled upon work that I could do ( and possibly should have been doing all along???)

+2 more hours.

Plan:

(1)seek out anti-anxiety meds;(2) do discovered math work ( coulden't hurt); (3)find tutor



Sending journal entry early; convinced nobody reads them and that there is a fast forward button from Friday straight on through to Monday and it will not get done unless it is sent of today.

Isn't life grand?

For the first time in my stubborn existence I am doubting myself.
Doubting that I can do this, that I want to keep trying.

As it turns out, The University is ever so much harder then a local private college, go figure. And in my usual neurotic self defeatist style; I stacked the class schedule against myself.
  So I am working from behind, way behind.

Sorry I have been MIA for so long, that is the reason. My "Spring looking up" post turned into an oh so busy reality, as so often seems to happen around these parts.

The kids are all healthy again, after a two week pink eye epidemic followed by a round of coughing fits. We were quarantined for most of it. Five screaming , fighting children and one tired unhappy mama are, oh so glad that's over.

I am currently going in every night this week to 'the hub' for math testing. It is slightly more painful then  having each fingernail individually ripped off, and I am frightened to say that I may have to repeat the class.

Somewhere after failing the math test for the third time and drowning my misery by downing a whole bag of  M&M's, time seemed to stand still and all I could hear was the beating of my heart.

When I looked up I realized that I had been staring at the screen for a good hour with out accomplishing anything.

Self improvement at its finest.